I often refer back to the heartbeat of what started this blog… It was my first day as a supporter of my (now) husband’s career in the military. From boot camp survival guides (as a girlfriend), to long distance relationships as a fiance… to care packages and homecoming signs as a wife, and what to expect at ALS graduation – but nothing compares to this.
The first week of a deployed friend, husband, and biggest role lately – a co-parent.
We as military wives are in a unique chapter in our lives. Most of us are living far, far, FAR away from ANY family or life-long friends. Most of us are also trying to start, grow, and raise families of our own. These are already hard. I am a luke-warm person, I don’t feel too strongly about anyone or anything, and even I can admit – I see how marriages, families, and friendships crumble under the military life. I see how nervous a wife gets before her husbands first deployment, and how Satan uses her anxiety to end the marriage before the deployment even starts. I see how alcohol abuse and sexual temptation ruins families. I see how pride and gossip ruins friendships. I see all of this – but find peace in knowing whatever comes our way, we have Jesus. We are a family that calls it how it is – it’s either from God, or it’s not. SO, IF YOU ARE A NEW MOTHER WONDERING HOW AM I GONNA RAISE THESE BABIES ALONE, know this – you’re not alone. You might bare the weight of many living creatures in your home right now, but never for a second are you alone in it.
This week has been surprisingly well. Don’t get me wrong, it has had its moments, but God is still good. If you’re like me, you end every “normal” day (even with your husband home to help) with “ohmigah I missed my bed, how did we just survive today?” But I feel like as soon as I read the message, “hey, can I call?” and heard the words, “So… I’m leaving for longer then we thought.” Something switched in my brain and composure. The tired WAHM became the boss that needed to whip this home into a place of joy, peace, and rest. It was no longer a place that I worked, but a place where I can be thankful. Dinner became a planned meal instead of a last minute cave into UberEats. My shower after baby went to bed was no longer a daily victory, but a time to meditate and thank God for my husband arriving safely to his next destination. The annoyance of fourth of July fireworks weren’t just a crying baby, but a moment of grace to bring my son into bed with me and sing the whole Tangled movie to him – and know that all my hard work of sleep training him will crumble because he will feel most safe in my arms tonight.
I promise, if you are facing a deployment as a first time parent soon, something will switch. It will, and it has to, because no “normal” person can carry out the calling that has been placed on YOU – on YOUR life, on YOUR marriage, on YOUR family. This is YOUR purpose, and those babies need their momma to look the enemy in the face, and say, “Not today. Not my marriage. Not my family.”
The first week is survivable. It may take a few glasses (bottles) of wine, cups of coffee, a lot of video chats, or funny memes – but you can do this! My God (and second glass of wine) told me so.