Guilt-Free Self-Love

 

 

 

When I was a child, I would dream about my life now. I prayed so hard to God, to the moon, and my dead grandpa for love and to become a mom. I wanted a baby Simba or a Barbie in my arms at all times. I wanted to comb it’s hair, dress it up, and push the belly button to hear a Spice Girls single. Since then, every complaint that came out of a mother’s mouth translated to ungrateful… I WANTED WHAT THEY HAD! I wanted to lose sleep, I wanted to change poop-y diapers, I wanted to stress about finances if it meant I had a baby to love. Still, I am careful to not complain about any part of motherhood, because I am living my biggest dream. This is my purpose; maybe that’s not enough for others, but this is mine.

There’s no “but…. *insert complaint*.” I will still not complain about being a mom. Being a mom is hard work; that’s not a complaint, that’s fact. The work you put into it is what you’ll get out. What you water, grows. If you pour into your marriage, it grows. If you pour into a relationship with God, through grace, it grows. If you pour into your business, guess what… it grows! Growth doesn’t happen over night, even if you dump your whole pitcher of water in – you might drown it. Just building habits of taking care of what you’re called to will result in growth.

Where I’ve failed as a mom, is barely pouring into myself… and when I do, I feel guilty. I have been pouring into (managing) my businesses, marriage, child, occasionally pets, and friends – that when I stopped to look into the mirror, I couldn’t recognize the potato looking back at me. I am not a superficial person at all, but I should at least be bathed and groomed occasionally, right? Here are the simple, affordable, and quick ways I’ve poured into myself:

Learn something – read a book, read a blog, visit my favorite University AKA: YouTube. Learn something that will make you a better you. For me, it’s been listening to church services while nursing or playing with Anakin. I’ve also made a goal to read 18 books this year (1 book a month until June, then 2 books a month). I’m one book down, and have already read more books then I did last year! Learning more about Anakin also makes me feel more confident – checking in with developmental leaps helps me understand him better, and makes me less anxious about change.

Start something for YOU – for me, it’s been this blog. This blog is my space to choose my words wisely. Some blogs maybe for venting, some maybe to encourage. Maybe you prefer privacy – a journal would be great!

Change your look – y’all, postpartum hair-loss is real. Some things you can not dodge, no matter how many prenatal vitamins you take. I went to my hair stylist for just a haircut to reshape my mane. Yay, no mom bun on the weekends!

Buy new clothes for YOU – I’ve shared my nursing friendly outfits for just about every occasion, but Mama, get something for you. You don’t even need to leave the house. I now understand why my sister doesn’t try on clothes before buying – ain’t no mama got the time! Online shops have been my best friend. I know my staple pieces, and I want clothes that don’t have to be nursing specific or have milk stains. I want boots that are a new style for me, because I’m not worried about my big feet in pointy shoes. They’re cute, I’m cute, my baby’s cute – we’re gon’ be so cute and confident together. This camo tee and these pointy boots have been my weekend jam.

Save money – this last month’s read was one from Dave Ramsey, and Lord Jesus, thank you for him! The confidence and control over our money has blessed us. Our home (AKA: me) has been so much more efficient since making changes little and small! It makes buying a shirt and boots no big deal for our single stable income military family. Save where you can (make you own coffee and taste the $5 that you just saved), buy bulk, but don’t forget to bless others!

Go to brunch – you don’t have to actually go to brunch, but see someone in person. Ask them how they are, encourage them, and pray for them. Spend time having an adult conversation that isn’t gossip or mindless. Talk about Dave Ramsey because that’s where all my conversations have led to this month.

Try new recipes – browse through Pinterest or make something interesting with what you have left before grocery day. We fell into a pasta funk that left us feeling horrible. Thanks to new veggie filled recipes, we have gone a full seven days of no pasta!

Turn off your phone – or at least take a break from social media. The endless scrolling of other people’s seemingly perfect marriages/ children/ outfits/ homes/ etc. can make us feel like we aren’t enough. God did not overcome the world so we can compare ourselves to it. You’re enough. Your messy mom bun, milked stained nursing tank, and pasta filled body can rest in His peace today.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33

Thank you The Mint Julep Boutique for partnering with me in a guilt-free reset so I can better serve others. Please note that most of these can be done during nap time or while dad’s home! I have extreme anxiety about leaving Anakin (it’s getting worse) so maybe something in your mind means taking a longer time away from baby (and there’s nothing wrong with that!) We’re all being the best moms we can possibly be, and that is more then enough.

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