I didn’t mean for it to be a secret. I told myself that the next time we were pregnant, I wouldn’t wait until a heartbeat, or the first trimester ended, or all the other things people wait for to share the wonderful blessing it is to see a positive on that pee stick. But here we are, twelve weeks and a heartbeat later – expecting again after a season of major, earth shattering loss.
We went from miscarriage, to deployment, to one of the people closest to us taking their life, to a little positive pregnancy test… I’d be lying if I said it isn’t the most terrifying thing. It is terrifying to trust God and His timing. It is terrifying to blend seasons of unimaginable pain and unforeseen joy.
So yeah, I took a quarter of a year off of work, social media, this blog, and everything that was distracting me from soaking in every second of the past twelve weeks. I know I don’t owe anything to anyone, or that anyone even cares enough to notice an absence. I just wanted to tell whoever is waiting for the positive test, whoever is waiting for the storms to just quiet, whoever is mourning the loss of someone or themselves… there will be a rainbow; just keep going.
Anchors & Planes 