Defining “Homemaker”

Last night my husband said, “Did you think we would own a home at 25?”

I was surprised that what I said after didn’t shock him. I said, “I didn’t think I’d ever own a home.” It’s strange. For a girl who wanted nothing more then to get married, buy a home, and never ever ever ever move from it… that I found myself as a military spouse, traveling the world, making babies, and being my own boss. If you peeped my job resume, since I was 18, the reason for leaving any position was “relocated.” As badly as I wanted a home, I thought that was for people who weren’t me. Someone smarter, more educated, with a higher paying salary, more “blessed” because they had a better soul then mine. I feel like I have to say I love my parents and they did the best they could raising a little turd like me – but they didn’t own a home together, and I wasn’t taught what “escrow” meant in high school. Owning a home was too big for my aspirations.

So when I thought my husband would say, “awww, my poor little wife.” I was the one shocked when he laughed. Instantly just giggled. Followed by, “I never thought we would too!”

There’s a pure joy in knowing we are so insignificant. Right? Like should something happen to me, the world will keep spinning. That the weight of humanity , or my husband’s joyfulness, or my son’s survival doesn’t depend on my existence… but we choose to pour everything we have into becoming better versions of ourselves just for the hell of it. I don’t know at what point we started to wake up every morning with the expectation we will rest in heaven; at what point did we remove the glass ceilings on our own marriage, each other, and ourselves? Was it the divorces our loved ones were swimming in? Or our separations from training, mission trips, deployments?

Whenever it was, I’m so thankful that our “homemaking” means something completely different then the generations before us. I am so thankful that we both pick up saws, drills, hammers, and paint. I am so thankful that we both do the dishes, laundry, and prepare food. I am so thankful that we can watch Tidying Up on Netflix and laugh at all the stupid things we spent our own hard earn money on. I wish we were making this home up as our “forever home,” but duty will call us somewhere else again one day – and that’s okay. I can only pray we steward what God has blessed us with well for the next family He wants to give it to.

Here is a peek into our new home in the Tampa area. It took a while for me to heal from our loss a few months ago, but this new year has brought more energy and health back into our home. If you want to know just how much we still limit ourselves, in late December while planning out the next 3 months, 1 year, 5 years, and lifetime goals – I suggested making it a goal to fully furnish our home in a year. After I said it out loud, we moved it to three years… 35 days later we completed that goal. 1060 days sooner then planned.

Don’t think about how difficult it is, or how unqualified you are, or what you’re not worth. Just focus on what God says about you and get to work.


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